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Don't have enough time to do any more than once chapter, so here is a quick... Rewrite? of Chapter Three.

The Long Earth Parody

Chapter Three

Quicker, easier and more entertaining to read.

Chapter Three

JOSHUA IS VERY, VERY UNUSUAL. HE IS A GREAT KID. HE’S A GOOD BOY AND HE HAS A LARGE VOCABULARY. HE CAN COOK. Ok, character development done for Joshua now. Happy? Good, because you’re not getting much more.

Anyway, Joshua was there on Step Day. The day when millions of lazy teenagers got off their backsides and actually made a somewhat complex – considering how amateur most of them were – box. A physical machine. That’s right. Teenagers made a physical structure by themselves. They weren’t playing video games, writing blogs or eating food.

They left the house, bought some wood, wires and potatoes, and put together their intricate Stepper boxes.

This fascinated the world. The discovery of a simple machine that was able to transport someone to another universe was overshadowed as media outlets crossed to reporters in helicopters, who claimed to see teenagers outside. Moving! In broad daylight!

And then, the teens all went missing. Just like that.

Gone.

Oh, that reminds me. Terry, have you talked to Legal about doing a reverse-Gone plot? Did they give it the go-ahead?

As long as we don’t have mutations or an impenetrable dome, we’ll be fine, apparently.

So Joshua shouldn’t have a secret ability? And we shouldn’t create a new species evolved from humans?

Stephen?

Yes?

Is this conversation being recorded?

No.

It never happened. And we’ve never heard of Michael Grant either, got it?

Anyway, on Step Day, when everyone who was bored enough to put together a Stepper Box found themselves in another universe, Joshua was the Hero.

Well, the Hero of a tiny corner of Madison. Whatever.

He had the patience to get, one-by-one, all the kids in his neighbourhood back home safely.

But when he himself had returned, he had been met by none other than…


Cops!

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