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  • Smith 6

    The Short Long Earth

    by Smith 6

    Based on the novel 'The Long Earth' by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter.

    Part Twelve

    The epic conclusion to Chapter 19!

    Chapter 19 (continued)

    "Joshua, where are you?"

    "Right here, Lobsang."

    "But where is 'here'?"

    "Uh, where I'm standing?"

    "Abstractly, you are here. Theoretically, you are not. Hypothetically, you're on this world. Conceivably, you are on the next. What is space, but a plaything of time? What is time, but a-"

    "Yes, Lobsang, I get it. Woah, is that a rhino?"

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  • Smith 6

    The Short Long Earth

    by Smith 6

    Based on the novel 'The Long Earth' by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter.

    Part Eleven

    Chapters 16, 17, 18 and 19

    Chapter 16

    Excerpts from the journal of Helen Green, resceptfully repectfully spellchecked by Dad aka Mr. J. Green:

    Oh no.

    We are going to start out from Richmond West 10, that's Richmond Virgina Virginia-

    Sigh.

    You could see all types of people on the Datum, from hipster nerds to Pocahontas cosplayers.

    You could also see Helen shrieking with delight as she flew further and further away from her abandoned brother. How lovely.

    Woah, is that a confederate flag?

    Chapter 17

    "Hey, dude. Wanna join our trek?"

    "Sure. Woah, is that a confederate flag?"

    Chapter 18

    Helen is really enjoying the trek. She's seen lots of interest…

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  • Smith 6

    The Short Long Earth

    by Smith 6

    Based on the novel 'The Long Earth' by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter.

    Part Ten

    Chapters 13, 14 and 15

    Chapter 13

    After her talk with Cliché Clichy, Jansson felt good about herself.

    What a great idea of hers it had been to hide potential assassination victims in cellars below ground. On West 1 and East 1, the space occupied by the cellar was solid ground, so assassins couldn't Step straight in. They would either have to dig a parallel hole, or come in at ground level and fight their way down.

    The only problem was that if the assassin did manage to fight their way down and enter the cellar, their victim would be unable to Step away without suffocating in some solid ground on another world.

    Oh well.

    Jansson was on h…

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  • Smith 6

    The Short Long Earth

    by Smith 6

    Part Nine

    Chapters 10, 11 and 12

    Chapter 10

    As the picky, preposterous, pointless, passionate, patient, peaceful, perfect, personable, placid, playful, pleasant, poignant, polite, popular, precious, pretty, priceless, proficient, prominent, proper, prosperous, proud, pure conversation continued, Hermione Dawes decided to leave the Datum forever.

    And Hermione, this irrelevant and inconsequential character, stepped again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again …

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  • Smith 6

    Apologies for the long wait... again...

    The Short L o n g Erf

    Chapters 7, 8 and 9

    Critical. Cynical. Satirical.

    Chapter 7

    Sally stepped.

    __________________________________________________________________________________________

    Chapter 8

    Joshua likes Robinson Crusoe.

    __________________________________________________________________________________________

    Chapter 9

    Jansson arrived for her meeting with Clichy.

    Cliché Clichy waved at her. "Noun, noun."

    "Are you alright, sir?" Monica asked. "You seem to be leaving out verbs."

    "Of course, I was in character. That's how Americans speak, isn't it? Spiffing day, what." Clichy said in his natural English accent.

    Monica cleared her throat.

    Clichy's eyed widened. "Hell, I don't even know how to speak American prop…

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  • DSonla

    Excited! Got my copy today! Already at chapter 14. So good to read about familiar characters and learn what had become of them in the meantime.

    Now let's see how long it'll take me to finish it.

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  • Smith 6

    I'm back, bitches!

    The Short Long Earth

    Chapter Six

    Critical. Cynical. Satirical.


    Dear Stephen,

    What the fuck?

    That was literally the worst chapter I've ever read. YOU CANNOT KILL THE MAIN CHARACTER TO MAKE A POINT, HOWEVER POLITICAL SAID POINT IS. IMAGINE IF WE COMPLETELY RUSHED THE ENDING AND BLEW UP MADISON TO MAKE A POINT ABOUT TERRORISM! HOW FUCKING STUPID WOULD THAT BE?

    My chapter attached,

    Terry


    Chapter Six

    Jim Russo had a mission.

    Today, in this irrelevant chapter that features none of the main characters and adds hardly anything to the plot, Jim Russo would be really stupid.

    Jim had travelled to California, taking maps and equipment and, for some reason, photos. Or, as a 38-year-old apparently calls them, 'photographs'. LOL.

    At Sutter's Mill, …



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  • Smith 6

    The Short Long Earth

    Chapter Five

    Quicker, easier and more entertaining to read.


    But when Jansson found Joshua, and discovered he had dark skin, she did what every other white police offer in the United States would’ve done. 

    She shot the kid.


    Chapter Five

    Terry Pratchett was opening his emails.

    "Oh, one from Stephen. That'll be Chapter Four."

    And so, Terry read the chapter.

    Jansson contemplates flicking switch.

    "Good."

    Jansson continues to contemplate flicking switch.

    "Um..."

    Jansson further contemplates flicking switch.

    "Is this whole chapter going to be about-"

    Jansson flicks switch.

    "Oh, that's good."

    Poo.

    "Er-"

    More poo.

    "Um-"

    Jansson getting high on air.

    "Oh, that's better."

    Jansson kills Joshua.

    "WHAT?"

    Terry stared at his computer screen in amazement. Had …



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  • Smith 6

    Finally! The Chapter Four finale!

    The Short Long Earth

    Formerly known as 'The Long Earth Parody'

    Chapter Four (Part Three) 

    Quicker, easier and more entertaining to read.

    PREVIOUSLY...

    Despite Willis Linsay's 'parting shot' being an Alice in Wonderland reference, the man did seem quite dangerous.

    The note, stuck to the box, read 'TRY ME'. And not one of the people who had originally investigated the house had done so. 

    This seemed impossible to Jansson. Surely one of them must've tried it, she thought. So what had happened to them?

    The beautifully clean air started smelling bad now. Why was that? 

    Oh, that would be the poo I'm standing in, she thought. Whoops.

    But who had done that poo? Jansson looked around, but could not see any suspects. She hadn'…

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  • Smith 6

    The Short Long Earth

    Formerly known as 'The Long Earth Parody'

    Chapter Four (Part Two) 

    Quicker, easier and more entertaining to read.

    Chapter Four (Part Two)

    Jansson had a dilemma.

    Despite Willis Linsay's 'parting shot' being an Alice in Wonderland reference, the man did seem quite dangerous.

    The note, stuck to the box, read 'TRY ME'. And not one of the people who had originally investigated the house had done so. 

    This seemed impossible to Jansson. Surely one of them must've tried it, she thought. So what had happened to them?

    She reached out, slowly, and put her finger on the switch. The box couldn't do anything, could it? She would probably flick the switch, and nothing would happen. She'd still be standing there. And probably laughing.

    So, Jans…

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  • Smith 6

    I started on this the day after my last post, but Chapter Four is a very long and difficult chapter and I haven't had the time or motivation to finish it. So here it is - Chapter Four Part One. Also, what's a good name for this? The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced it's not a parody. Suggestions, please.

    The Long Earth Parody

    Chapter Four (Part One)

    Quicker, easier and more entertaining to read.

    Chapter Four (Part One)

    It had all started even earlier for MPD Officer Monica Jansson, when she had abandoned her important duties of law and order and peacekeeping to take another snoop around Willis Linsay’s house.

    While drink-drivers crashed into lampposts and three lives were taken by domestic violence because the police were short-staf…

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  • Smith 6

    Don't have enough time to do any more than once chapter, so here is a quick... Rewrite? of Chapter Three.

    The Long Earth Parody

    Chapter Three

    Quicker, easier and more entertaining to read.

    Chapter Three

    JOSHUA IS VERY, VERY UNUSUAL. HE IS A GREAT KID. HE’S A GOOD BOY AND HE HAS A LARGE VOCABULARY. HE CAN COOK. Ok, character development done for Joshua now. Happy? Good, because you’re not getting much more.

    Anyway, Joshua was there on Step Day. The day when millions of lazy teenagers got off their backsides and actually made a somewhat complex – considering how amateur most of them were – box. A physical machine. That’s right. Teenagers made a physical structure by themselves. They weren’t playing video games, writing blogs or eating food.

    They left…

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  • Smith 6

    The Long Earth Parody

    December 22, 2015 by Smith 6

    Hi, everyone. I am now writing a parody (for want of a better word) of The Long Earth. This is what I do when I'm bored. More to come.

    The Long Earth Parody

    Chapters One to Two

    Quicker, easier and more entertaining to read.

    Chapter One

    Hello, I’m Terry Pratchett.

    And I’m Stephen Baxter. You’ll have lots of fun trying to work out which of us came up with each line.

    But for now, let us dazzle you with our experienced and over-illustrative writing. 

    Private Percy was thinking. He does a lot of thinking, in this chapter.

    Listen to the birds. Let us paint a picture of his surroundings and make him seem like every 1910s Englishman you’ve ever seen on TV.

    He was in a war, by the way. Because the First World War is a really unique, obscure subject for liter…

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  • DSonla

    Flying snakes

    October 12, 2015 by DSonla

    Hola! DSonla here.

    I was reading a French magazine called Science & vie (n° 1160 - May 2014) the other day when an article caught my eye.

    Turns out, there's no need to go all the way to Earth West 161,753,428 to find flying snakes :
    http://thefunnybeaver.com/flying-snakes-chrysopelea-paradisi/

    So if you find yourself in a South East Asian jungle, don't forget to look up!

    Cheers!

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  • DSonla

    Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

    September 16, 2015 by DSonla

    No! It's a twain!

    Created and uploaded an icon for the Wiki, still in the project to give us a stronger identity.
    The problem I have with this icon is that its graphic identity doesn't correspond with the woodmark's and it feels like its a patchwork.

    So I'm struggling to either modify the icon to make it correspond to the woodmark's "pixel art design" or change the woodmark to fit with the icon's design. Or I could simply leave the two as they are.

    Anyway, wanted to make a silvery twain at first (like the Mark Twain) but settled for blue like Navy One because the colors would be more "catchy".

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  • DSonla

    New Woodmark

    September 14, 2015 by DSonla

    Hi there!

    In order to give a stronger identity to the wikia, I've uploaded a custom woodmark. I first wanted to do an image with a twain and several Earths but then my mind drifted to stepping and how you can be one second in a heavy populated area and find yourself in a raw forest the next. I've tried to encapsulate this feeling in the woodmark I've created.


    Also created a poll on the main page so people can leave their advice but, since it's a poll, you're stuck with the pre-defined option so not really flexible if someone wants to make a suggestion.
    So that's why I'm gonna create a Forum topic about it so people will be able to discuss on the woodmark.

    PS : As an admin, I can upload an icon as well so will probably work on that next.



    Blog po…





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  • DSonla

    Hola!

    Been sketching for a while based on the books' descriptions and finally upload one character portrait (Al Raup).

    ]]

    Hopefully more skilled artists will join and we'll have portraits for all characters.

    The easiest and hardest are the characters that have zero description at all, they can look like anything you want so it's easy to imagine them and yet not everyone will have the same idea of the character's looks.

    Anyway, currently working on sketches of Cho-je and Selena Jones, so stay tuned!

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  • DSonla

    Motivation!

    August 31, 2015 by DSonla

    Hi there!

    For me, wikia has always been a source of knowledge and infos until that fateful day when I was looking for informations about The Long Earth but found a huge lack of it online. Decided that after years of leeching off other people's work, it was my time to contribute to the community.

    Even if I've started this wikia in Summer 2014, I kind of let it rot for lack of motivation I guess. More than one year later, more than 250 pages were created, some are still empty unfortunately but it's making steady progress.

    I've read all the books so with time and, importantly, inspiration, I'll be able to finish putting all the data in! :D

    Anyway, thanks to the other editors who save me some work, I appreciate the work that was done.

    Hopefully, I …

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  • DSonla

    A long Wiki

    July 31, 2014 by DSonla

    Creation of this wiki. Let's see how far it can goes.

    Read more >

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